Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I still haven't managed a way to sleep properly. Yesterday I had an interview. So, after spending a sleepless night, I ended up spending the morning on a chair, waiting to be interviewed. The prolonged sleeplessness had immediate effect on my health - from severe headache to nausea. I slept for an hour, and now am here - again, awake, sleepless, on my blog, hopelessly thinking about her, and continously looking at the door, hoping for the sleep to barge in at anytime. Ofcourse she is not going to come, just like the girl I love.
So I was thinking about her (not the sleep :p), and was considering the worst possible proposal - more like a plea. I wanted to know if she would be ready for a minimum possible relation that can exist between two individuals. It could be anything. For example, she can agree to pick my call on her birthday. I will tell her two words "happy birthday", she says one "thanks" and then I would hang up the phone and wait for her next birthday, for the rest of my/her life. I wouldn't say a single word more. I know she will not agree to it either. It sounds crazy. For me, this would be perfect. I would spend the whole year, looking forward to hear her voice say that one little word. It would help me live my life better, it would give me a purpose to my life - to wait for one more year. The waiting mixed with certainty is a heady mix, and I would be happy to live a life like that. What about her? she would think this is crazy. Even if she agrees, imagine tomorrow she gets married, what would her future husband think, what would her future children think?
So you see, what seems minimum possible relation to me, would seem increasingly unreasonable and unacceptable demand to her.
I think I am better off not sleeping than drive her crazy or scaring her off ..